Importance of Education for Covenant Children.
By Richard Bacon
The Text as edited, Copyright 2007 © FPCR
Parental Prerequisites
In the original covenant that God made with Adam, God gave Adam dominion over
the earth and told him to be fruitful and multiply. In the commandment to be
fruitful and multiply, Adam, even in an unfallen state, was required to bring up
his children to understand their callings before the Lord. We who are fallen are
also required to raise up our children in the nurture and admonition of the
Lord. It is a normal part of our Christian life. But to be able to accomplish
this command, Christian parents have to begin with certain attributes in our
lives before we can communicate those attributes to our children.
1. Genuine Personal Religion
First, parents must have genuine personal religion. I am using the word religion
in the sense of doing what God has called us to do. It must be personal, it must
be genuine, and it must be according to God’s law. We must have it to be able to
teach it. We must have a habit of following God. We might term this “habitual
holiness.” This does not mean that a parent must be perfect before he or she can
teach a child. However, the parent must be inculcating in himself, as well as in
his children, a habit of holiness. Parents must have a habit of following after
the Lord; a habit of walking with him; a habit of doing what God requires. The
habits of a parent’s life must be such that when he speaks to his child, the
child does not see something different from what he hears. What the child sees
in the life of his parents and the instructions he receives from them must
agree.
2. Discrimination
The second qualification that parents must cultivate in themselves is the
ability to discriminate. I am using the word “discriminate” in the old way.
“Discrimination” is the ability to divide that which is good and proper from
that which is bad and improper. To discriminate means “to mark a difference.” If
we are going to raise children, we must be able to discriminate between what
they do that is good and what they do that is bad. We must be able to tell the
difference between good and evil. We have to have insight into our children’s
behavior. We have to watch them. We have to observe them. We have to know when
they are telling the truth and when they are lying. Children sometimes lie to
their parents. Even children of the covenant have lied to their parents. Some
parents, when they were children, did the same thing. Parents must have the
insight to be able to listen to their children carefully enough to know when
they are telling us the truth and when they are not. We need to be able to
discern when their motives are what they ought to be and when they are not. If
we do not cultivate that ability; if we do not cultivate that discrimination; we
will not know how to admonish our children. We will be correcting them when they
ought not to be corrected; and we will be leaving undone correction that ought
to be taking place.
3. Prudence
The third thing that we need to cultivate in ourselves is prudence. This is a
virtue that we must first develop in ourselves so that we can nurture it in our
children. Today, the word “prudence” is almost never used, but in the past, it
was considered a virtue. Prudence simply means “good sense.” Prudence is the
ability to look at a situation, recognize the situation for what it is, and then
apply godly wisdom to it. We need that. We must have that in our own lives if we
would cultivate it in our children’s.
4. Firmness
Fourth, we must have firmness. This does not mean cruelty. Nor does it mean that
we beat our children until they submit to our wills. But neither does it mean
that we indulge them. Firmness simply means that we do not indulge their
appetites. It means that we do not give in to them. It means that just because
there is a tear in their eye, we do not repent from what we have done if what we
have done is the right thing to do. We must be firm and not indulgent.
5. Consistent
Related to that firmness, we must be consistent. If a parent handles one child
differently than he handles another child, it can be a source of bitterness and
resentfulness between the children or between the child and his parents. We must
be consistent also from one time to another. If an action deserved punishment on
one occasion, the same action will likely deserve punishment on a second
occasion. The lack of consistency brings ambiguity and uncertainty toward
parents, discipline and sometimes even God’s law. It is almost guaranteed to
provoke a child to anger.
6. Proper Goal
Finally, we must know what our goal is in the instruction of our children. What
is the desired end of our correction? What do we hope to accomplish in our
admonishments? We must know for what purpose we train up our children. Until we
have that goal firmly in our minds, our discipline will lack true direction and
focus.
In Proverbs 22:6 we are told to “Train up a child in the way he should go: and
when he is old, he will not depart from it.” We are not told to train up a child
in the way he should think or train up a child in the way he should speculate or
train up a child in the way he should dance or train up a child in the way he
should do art. We are told to train up a child in the way he should go. We are
training our children for living. We are training our children to be doers of
God’s word. We are training our children to be walkers in God’s way. Therefore
the goal that must always be before our eyes is the spiritual welfare of our
child and the glory of God. God is glorified in our raising of our children with
their spiritual interests ever before our eyes.